"Kamu akan mati," katanya

Duka menggenang pada matanya

Tetapi tidak pada mataku

Sebab aku sudah firasat

Sebab aku memang sudah mati

Existence

There are some people in this world
Who are not born to be happy
No matter how hard they try

They may have all that glitters in this world

But never will they feel the warmth of love ever

Because the world needs a balance

And only some people are more deserving to be in paradise

So therefore, my dear

This smile is only for you to see but not to have

Because if you take just a little step closer

Or if I ever dare to cross my line and reach out to you

This mask of glass will crack and break apart

And all you will see is despair

And I will have to put the pieces back together all by myself again

My fingers will bleed again

And my tears will flow again

So please forgive me, love
If I keep my distance

For I am just a mortal

That was not born to cherish happiness

Untuk parasit

Kembalikan setahun nafasku yang kau buang percuma

Kembalikan peluhku yang kau curi dan perbudak

Kembalikan asaku

Kembalikan imanku

Sebab sudah kau torehkan cacat pada hatiku

Sebab sudah kau racuni raga ini

Sebab sudah kau temukan aku pada kematian

Sebab sudah kau pisahkan aku dari kebahagiaan

Terkutuklah waktu karena ia tak bisa berpaling ke belakang

Sebab ingin kuhapus senyummu yang menyesatkan

Sebab pengetahuanmu membodohkan

Sebab keberadaanmu tak ada gunanya bagiku

But not now, not now

I want to see the pink forest
and inhale the beauty of its spring
I can't close my eyes now
Not now, not now

I want to feel the snow on my palms
and freeze into its pure whiteness
I can't let go now
Not now, not now

I want to step on the world's greatest wall
and walk through its thousands of years
I can't stop now
Not now, not now

I can't give in now
Until I have you under the moon, love
and kiss you when the morning comes
Then I shall leave in peace

But not now
Not now

Betapa buta aku

Mengira hidup begitu murah
dan waktu begitu panjang

Kukira tidurku dibuai
dan mimpiku didengar

Kini cakrawala begitu dekat
namun bintang semakin jauh

Udara semakin pekat
dan gelap perlahan mewujud

Raga ini lebur
dan jiwa ini kehilangan asa

Cinta telah menguap
dan aku tinggal menghitung hari

In Memoriam

Junior

1997 - 25 July 2012

It's been a great journey, buddy.

I am so blessed to ever have the privilege to walk with you.

Where it began, where it ended

It is where I said I love you
and you said you miss me
It is where you left me
and I let you go

It is under the same roof where I hugged you
and made you cry
On the same floor where you kissed me
and broke my heart



The walls witnessed our mornings and nights
our laughs and curses
us being fools and clowns
building dreams, sculpting the future

The things we loved and shared
The things we claimed and took back

Somewhere there
maybe by the side of the dusty window
or as you laid down on top of the frameless hay
I hope you were happy
I hope you felt loved

I am blessed to ever walk side by side with you
and thankful for the tenderness
your endless thoughts
your smile